2023 Habits: Pouring From an Empty Cup

I think it's easy to get lost in parenting. Especially when you're in a constant state of survival mode. Trying to help your toddlers navigate these new big feelings they have, staying up an unnatural amount of time, having to be a human drinking fountain, being a nurse, a teacher, a housekeeper and personal chef. It's a lot. I feel like there are parts of my motherhood journey that are lost in a fog. For me personally, I quickly felt that I was pouring from an empty cup. Giving all of myself but not giving myself the opportunity to only give to myself for any length of time. This year, I decided that part of me needed to change so I could show up and be authentically me.

Here are the things I've stopped doing and the things I'm adding into my routine:

Screen time:

This hasn't been easy because it's a detox for the whole family. Cutting out screens because I was too dependent on them. Whether I used it as a babysitter for my kids or just mindlessly listening to garbage. I've taken a restraining order out on Paw Patrol and Cocomelon. Stimulating TV shows are no longer allowed because it's not only a lot for my kids, but it can be draining for me too. We have a list of shows they can choose from that are mellow or they can watch a Disney classic. Picking and choosing my battle here... good, better, best. We're somewhere between good and better right now.

Minimum of 30 minutes outside a day:

My husband could see me fading away and decided that maybe a hammock would be a good gift idea. He was right. I look forward to laying in my hammock every day. I watch my three kids run wild and play together and reflect on who I'm becoming and who I want to be from now on. Getting some color helps too. I always feel better with a little bit of a tan.

Early bedtime routine:

Putting my kids in bed at 7:00 pm has been a huge positive change. Like clockwork, Brooks is ready for a bottle at 7 and ready to walk his happy little butt upstairs to go to bed. Asher and Grey take longer to fall asleep but having them in their beds at 7 is just a game changer. We're slowly working on staying in bed with a book but getting them in their room at a decent time has helped me be able to wind down earlier so I have the chance to offload. I have time to listen to a podcast, do my selfcare routine, watch a show with Gabe, do some cleaning. Literally whatever I want to do to benefit me in that time. A lot of people tell me that it's so early but my kids need the sleep and quiet time just as much as I do. Win win.

Making excuses:

I am not allowing myself to put blame on anyone or anything else when it comes to my emotions. Staying accountable for how I'm feeling helps me realize the action it took to get there and the action it will take to get out of it.

Daydreaming:

It's healthy, okay?

Mom days:

I no longer take kids on errands with me. I am able to grab a snack or Diet Coke by myself and just do what I need to do without the stress of expecting a meltdown or blowout. Pop in my AirPods before going into the store and accomplish some things on my to do list. I call them my mom days. Gabe has gotten used to me taking my time. It's nice.

I'm determined to be a healthier me in 2023 and every year after that. Slowly but surely.

Thanks for being here.