*The Announcement*

Yup, the news is out, baby #4 is on the way. My original plan was to not tell announce at all until he was already here but things never go according to plan for us. There is a sense of sadness that comes with this pregnancy because it is the last time my body will bring another being into our family. Our final count will be three boys and one girl. I've gotten so many comments about gender disappointment and while I would be lying if I said we wouldn't have been happy with another girl, as Grey gets older I'm 100% sure she is the only girl meant for our family.

I love everything about the nature of motherhood. I love being able to carry and grow life, I love being able to sustain life after, and I love knowing that my husband and I have another part of our heart walking outside of our bodies. But, this chapter of life is hard. People will say that this part of life is hard in the best way but sometimes it's just hard... and never in the way you expect it to be. I love sustaining and growing life but pregnancy is hard. I love breastfeeding but I also want my body back to myself. I'm excited for another baby in the home but so far all three of our kids have had something go wrong medically so now I'm expecting something to go wrong. I love having kids so close in age but I'm also burnt out. I love running them from school to hockey or dance but I also just would rather take a nap. So while this part of life is hard in the best way, it can also just be hard and that's ok.

Motherhood is not consistent. Motherhood is not predictable. Motherhood is a beautiful part of my life but I struggle and that's ok. We need to make sure that we are open about how its ok to not be ok. We aren't supposed to be the expert, we are just supposed to do our best at raising good, kind hearted humans and that's what I'll always try to do.

Number four- we can't wait to see who you are and get to know who you are. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom.