Asher is two!

This was originally written in May 2020 but I am just getting around to publishing it in May 2023. Mom life.

As my first baby turns two I find myself reflecting on the day he was born. Maybe its because Grey is due on the same day so knowing that they could have the same birthday is exciting or being able to experience childbirth around the same time has me in my feelings.

I was not expecting to give birth when I did. I went in on the 12th of June (37 weeks at this point) for a routine appointment. I mentioned to my OB, Dr. Scott, that a technician during a 4D ultrasound said that Asher had no room and hardly any water, my OB became concerned and a little annoyed that she didn't get call about that so she scheduled an emergency ultrasound for the next day to give us piece of mind.

June 13th, 2018: I showed up to my appointment with my mom and when all was said and done the new tech called my doctor and all we heard her say was "her mom is with her". She hung up and told us to be back at 1:00pm to meet with Dr. Scott. My mom and I tried to distract ourselves with lunch and manicures but we both knew what was coming. We went back to see my doctor and as soon as she walked in she said "Ok, you're going to have a baby today! He's better out than in so we're going to head upstairs and get you started" turns out he regressed in growth by 3 weeks. I was terrified. I had nothing ready. I tried to distract myself by talking to my nurses but it didn't really help especially since my mom had to leave to grab a few things from home. I called Gabriel (this was before we were married so I was in Arkansas and he was in San Diego). We were both heart broken that he wasn't able to be there like we had originally planned. His command wouldn't let him leave and I knew he wouldn't make it in time if he started flying anyways.

They started me on Pitocin and my body reacted ok. Not great but it handled it at a level four. an hour or so later they tried bumping me up to a six... Asher did not like that and neither did my body. I needed oxygen and he needed to be monitored closer so they put a fetal monitor on him (which now knowing what that is I feel horrible for consenting to that). They ended up prepping me for a C-section which meant I had to get my epidural way before I had intended. I knew I wanted one eventually but I didn't envision it being an hour and a half in. I had the best nursing staff and the best anesthesiologist. I didn't feel a thing from there on out. They also decided a C-section wasn't necessary so I sat for the next 13 hours waiting for baby. Later that evening they realized I was bleeding... a lot. More than they had anticipated but also not worrisome.

June 14th, 2018: My uncle Donny had come down from Missouri to hang out and be of support during my labor. I loved having him and my mom there. Around 3:15 am they checked me one last time and realized it was time to start pushing! We were able to facetime Gabe in and have him there virtually which was bittersweet. My mom was by my side and we started pushing. I don't remember much during that other than I got really frustrated because I wanted him out already. 30 minutes later, Asher was born! My sweet little strawberry blond baby. they let us do skin to skin for a few minutes before taking him over and getting his lungs cleared out. He was technically six weeks early so they worked on him for a good bit. Seeing Gabe weeping tears of love and joy was so sweet but so hard. No one prepares you for how things will go if your significant other can't be there.

Asher was kept in the NICU for eleven days before we got to bring him home. That's another thing no on prepares you for. The emotions, the hand and arm scrubbing, the learning curve. NICU stays are a world of their own. But, now we have the most perfect toddler. He is so headstrong and knows what he wants. He is sweet and needs that loving connection. He has the most beautiful blond curly hair and the smallest birthmark on his shoulder blade. Bright blue eyes, long fingers and stubby toes... everything about him is perfect. God really gave me a son when I needed him most and gave me a family when Gabriel and I needed it most. So grateful that this human chose me to be his mother and that I get to witness his life unfold.

I love you my sweet son.